Hey!, since we got off the subject of this thread let me add a little humour...
Snappy Answer #1
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to
check tickets.As a man approached, she extended
her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
stub."
Snappy Answer #2 A lady was picking through the
frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough
for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any
bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Snappy Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day,"
the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I
could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on
his way without a ticket.
Snappy Answer #4
A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single
agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.
Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk.
He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to
be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied,
I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to
help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed.
He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU
HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?" Without hesitating, the agent
smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your
attention please," she began her voice heard clearly throughout the
terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS.
If anyone can help him find his identity,please come to Gate 14." With the
folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the
man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore. "F*** you!"
Without flinching she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll
have to get in line for that, too."
And the VERY BEST snappy answer....
Snappy Answer #5
THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
A college teacher reminds the class of tomorrow's final
exam."Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for
you not being here tomorrow.I might consider a nuclear attack or a
serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family
but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever! A smart-ass guy in the back of
the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I
was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class
does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the
student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess
you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
On a serious note...I MISS TAMPA AND THE PROFESSIONAL EMPLOYEES THAT I WORKED WITH....THE CLOSING NEVER SHOULD OF HAPPENED. BUT I BELIEVE WE BRUISED SEIGELS' EGO ON THAT DAY IN THAT BREAKROOM BY TELLING HIM THE TRUTH AND WE HAVE PERSONALLY PAID THE PRICE, BUT SO HAS THE "COMPANY". SIEGEL WILL BE DONE WITH TAMPA IF HE CAN GET THE DISMISSAL OF THE WARN ACT IN COURT, and maybe it will heal his ego. 🙄 SO BE IT...
The funny thing is that what we discussed in the breakroom that day has come into fruition..coming back to ask for more money from us, continued mismanagement, etc., etc.