F/a Leader Says 'well Dry'

[ktflyhome]

Light Years: While I agree with much of what you posted. I beg to differ in the area that Males are often attacked more physically and verbally. I think it is the other way around. In fact, ironically, just had this conversation recently with a couple fellow Male F/A's and they concur on this too. I think the average Public Joe are more intimidated by male flight attendants then woman. I also, feel they don't take the crap from the Customers and woman by and large do. There are always the exceptions and with anything. But by and large, I feel this is the rule.

One thing interesting though. Most male F/A that I have had the experience of flying with, find this job a peice of cake. More women tend to #### about it more, as though it is SO Cumbersome. Basically, though, it is up to each individual to provide the quality of service and safety we were hired on to do.

What is really quite fascinating and unique and what the average Joe Public does not realize it that most crews don't even know one another. You throw 5 or more crew members together for a 4-day trip and that is where we become special. Our ability to maintain a harmonious working habitat, side by side, with a perfect stranger. I think that counts for alot.

 

[RowUnderDCA]

Unfortunately, male flight attendants are more often attacked both verbally and physically. People are more willing to shout at a man than at a woman. Some passengers are bigoted towards gay people (and I hate to stereotype, but usually Southerners) and mistreat male F/As on purpose, regardless of thier sexual orientation.

The male flight attendant has long been a subject of ridicule in popular culture. The guy stew is always killed first in movies. The public has little idea what being a flight attendant is, instead going with the image of the sexy stewardess who serves cocktails and fulfills fantasies. To this day, movie and TV F/As wear hooker outfits and funny hats. Gay men are constantly demonized on film, and male F/As on film are pretty much always vile, offensive, gay stereotypes. Never do you see a portayal of a heterosexual male F/A, a female F/A in her fifties, a normal gay man, or anyone who cares much about thier career. I'm not even going to get into how, in movies, they take off in a DC10 but then are in a 747 once airborne. :blink:

Sadly, many moons ago, the airlines used sex as a selling point, putting thier cabin crew in the middle of it. That was a different time, and the world, and its values have changed. Sadly, the image of the stewardess has never died in popular culture, and the less worldly still expect that. Some people don't like male flight attendants just as they don't like a female pilot.

I recently saw Kelly Preston being interviewed by Carson Daly (whos a dooshbag anyway) about her role as a flight attendant in a recent film, and she mentioned a real life F/A (male) that is a friend of her and her husband, John Travolta. Carson Daly looked at her and said "There are male flight attendants? Erghh... what do they do?" and the audience howled. Some people outside of the industry (and some in who don't respect the F/A profession- for example young and immature commuter pilots) think a flight attendant should be a pretty, young girl in a sexy outfit who flirts, rather than a highly trained, middle-aged man who requests that you not smoke onboard.

US Airways in particular has/had a high percentage of guys in thier ranks, whereas from what I've heard they are a small minority at some other carriers. Generalizing again, I've found that the men (straight or gay) seem to be more up on industry terminology and events- most are aviation enthusiasts.

I think what PineyBob sees is that some remain professional and try harder, and some become bitter more quickly.

Re: the stigma of the male f/a.

Of course, we can all relate to the psychological trauma experienced by Marge Simpson. When addressing her inexplicable fear of flying, her therapist discovered that Marge had repressed the childhood memory of her father being a flight attendant!

 

[Light Years]

I remember that one. She had thought he was a pilot, and then went to see him at work on a school field trip. When she saw him wearing an apron and serving cookies, she went into shock, leading to a lifetime of fear of flying.

I rest my case.

 

[ktflyhome]

Ok, Piney Bob, I am really not sure as to what you are referring to, but I can say, once again as i reiterrated earlier...When we as flight crew check in for a trip, one hour prior to departure, we essentially are on USAirways time clock. Plain and simple. Anyone who would have the audacity to make a comment to you about not being on the clock and just giving you a bottle of water prior to take off in First Class (saying that we are boarding 30-minutes prior to departure) should have a little note written about them to the company. My First Class Customers are VERY well taken care of, that is what I enjoy most about my job. If you are not getting the service that a US1 deserves, then you are dealing with a very lazy F/A regardless of male or female., and that is not company policy.

I am not sure I understand about "getting paid" on your last flight to ORD. All I can say, is this, IF the flight was on time, and IF you were pre-boarded you deserve (as per co. policy) to have a cocktail/and/or soda. I find it sigusting that flight attendants would even make such a comment, and although I was not privvy to the situation, you as a Customer are intitled to say something about this.

Keep in mind, Piney Bob, this Company has put us all on the edge and many out there, forget where there paycheck is coming from.

 

[firstamendment]

OK guys, time for the gay viewpoint....oh I just love this opportunity...one moment while I dig out those hooker looking Sergio Valentes I had in 1984 (God I loved those jeans, but with a then 28" waist who wouldn't? ) but I digress.

I took more heat when I started in 1987. I was young (25) , dumb, and full of . I only cared about flirting with the boys and laying over to check out the local scene. On the plane I was sometimes less patient then now. If someone didn't assume I was gay, they might see me as a threat to their woman. It all seems like a blur now.

Personally, I don't see as much of the BS towards the gay stews anymore, thanks to all the meterosexuals (cool straight guys who come across as gay). The internet has spread styles, fashion, and music at an alarming rate, so there aren't as many trends lingering in the gay community for very long, hence we all look more alike.

To be honest, this has been hard on the ol gaydar. I've been out for 18 years and I get them wrong alot more than one would think.

Anyway, I see more abuse to those female stews who come across as meek and frail...you know, pick on the helpless? Also, I find when I fly with an all AfricanAmerican crew, there are more call bells rung by passengers and a servant mentality that shocks me everytime.

As for myself? Mother nature is trailing my every move (as is father time). I do not have the cutsie curly brown hair and baby face that I had. I am noticably 41 and do have salt and pepper hair. I fight the battle of the buldge (that one too ) although I still have a 33-34 waist, but I am a man, have grown up alot, and do not take myself and life so seriously. I am much more patient, understanding, and compassionate. I think when people see me now, they see a man, plain and simple...a man who is not a threat, but who is there to provide a safe environment for all.

If anyone assumes I am gay and they act like a jerk, I finally understand that they are probably batteling their own demons in regards to sexuality. A secure heterosexual doesn't see me as a threat. It's not about me.

In regards to many male f/a's sometimes becoming bitter? Take a moment and understand what I am saying. I am being as honest as can be in hopes of educating those who don't understand.

I came out at 24, but knew I was different at around 5. I never have had a desire to be with woman. I didn't speak a word to another soul about what I felt until I finally came out. That is 19 years of keeping a big secret. I feared for my life and stuffed all my confusion and pain inside and even attempted to kill myself at 14. Thank God Bufferin won't do you in. When I finally came out, AIDS was killing people off, but I was out and didn't want to here about it. Anyway, I wasn't one of "those" kind of gays. But guess what? My years in the closet and the self hate that accompanied caused me to approach the men of Miami (where I started) like a kid in a cookie jar. I indeed was 25 and thought nothing could get me, but HIV did. Again, I had to keep yet another secret. Meanwhile, over time I have watched many die, whether from AIDS or drug/alcohol abuse. I have witness suicide attempts from guys who feel the world hates them, and guys so depressed about self acceptance that they are strung out on substances and guys who are so far from their spirit that they become bitter old queens. My guys in their 40's and 50's and many in their 30's still live the pain of their teenage years and childhood. They received little support when it was needed. Now, this group must contend with aging where youthfulness rules.

I am not asking for pity for me or my people...just understanding. The next time some snippy queen pisses you off, try to think about the above. Engage alittle and you might find a truely genuine guy who will let his guard down.

As for me, I have come into myself and made peace with my concept of God. I don't see the events of my life as something that happened TO me, but FOR me. I still am opinionated but I now know when I have gone too far. I try to live a life thankful for everyday God has blessed me in being here. I have been poz now for 16 years, take NO meds, am asymptomatic, and live a clean life. I no longer feel I have to define my self as anyone but the beautiful person that I am, which here is known as First.

I have decided that my experiences and challenges of the past are my strengths. They have provided gifts that have made me not only a good stew, but a good man.

I don't know why I felt inclined to share. I guess this gay thing comes up enough that I feel the best way to educate is to just be honest. How can I stop hatred in the minds of coworkers and customers if I stay in a closet filled with shame? Remeber....We are your brothers, sons, uncles, dads, and granddads. Most everyone knows someone who is gay. I don't want anyone's permission to BE gay..just an understanding that no matter what you think of me or others like me, I am just a man who just so happens to dig other guys. I will treat you, the customer and coworker, with the uptmost respect and courtesy. Just because you are a man doesn't mean I have a desire to sleep with you or change you or your children. And I no more judge you for premarital sex, coveting your neighbor's wife, having affairs, divorce, or masterbation, so please don't pick and choose this issue called homosexuality to dig out of the Bible, Torah, or whatever else one chooses to read. I don't believe it and I will not listen to such foolish abuse, so please just understand and not judge.


I hope I have somehow helped many of you to understand that we gay boys are just doing the best we can like the heteros of the world. We aren't a threat to your families or marriage. Infact, many of us find it amusing how much the issue of gay stews come up on all the brew ha ha over a meek 1% (so says the radical right), I mean 10% of the population.

More importantly, we are as different and varied in our community of stews as the straight ones. Some are hard workers, some are lazy. Some are kind, some are bitter. Some are professional, some are tacky.

Some are fem, some are butch. But that's another topic.

 

[marco90821]

[Deleted content by admin[red]

 

[756pro]

Hmmmm....I don't think the moderator will approve of such posts.

 

[Light Years]

Good post, firstamendment. Customers (and we all know its mostly certain markets) bring thier hatred and predjudice with thier oversize carry-ons. Some employees, almost understandably, get a chip on thier shoulder when thier efforts at a good job are riduculed or laughed at, or not respected. Sadly, this adds on to an already difficult-at-times job.

I've had the unfortunate experience, as an airline employee, of hearing the b-word (women), the f-word (gay people), and the n-word (black people) used to describe fellow employees. (I've also seen air rage first hand, and once had a weather-delayed passenger spit in my face, but that's a different story.) Not all incidents are as blantant. Sometimes, without saying it, you know when someone is just out to give you a hard time and why.

Flight attendants are in a unique position in that they are both authority figures and servers. This is a line that is blurred by years of bizarre marketing and media portrayals. They are also the face that has to respond to people who are spending too much for high expectations that are rarely delivered (gate agents have it worst, but at least are not locked in with them).

I commend airline employees (and people in general) that do not become bitter. For the most part, airline employees are a great, diverse group of people that make it better. The "outside world" could learn alot from them.

Thank you for sharing firstamendment!

 

[firstamendment]

I sincerely hope that no one took my comments as derogatory towards gays or anyone different. I think to deny those differences is just silly. Tolerating those differences is often difficult but REQUIRED in a society of truly free people.

I mean frankly my Johnny Walker Black tastes just as good from a flaming queen as it does from one of the prison matrons so why should or would I care.

Now if I could just get the younger female F/A's to wear their slacks as tight as the gay men do, then US Airways would really be a great airline. J/K.

Nice post First Amendment.

Care for a pair of Sergios?

 

[firstamendment]

Piney,
I didn't take your post wrong. You know, on the internet it is sometimes difficult to distinguish exactly what readers are expressing when they write. That's why I try to use those silly clickables.

I find the more comfortable I am with myself and can laugh at things or make a joke, the more comfy others are. Infact, I feel so confident that you can share a good laugh or gay joke that I am giving you an honorary gay card. Hold it tight. I don't give many of those out.

And Marco
My friend, I know it is easy to jump to conclusions where people and gay issues are concerned. Without sounding like Dr. First, try to think of why you felt so enraged by Piney's remarks. Who are you REALLY angry with. Perhaps Piney became the substitute for all the heteros who have done you wrong? I did the same with Delldude once...ok maybe twice, but he is just a man with an opinion.

Deleted by moderator

 

[firstamendment]

Piney,
I didn't take your post wrong. You know, on the internet it is sometimes difficult to distinguish exactly what readers are expressing when they write. That's why I try to use those silly clickables.

I find the more comfortable I am with myself and can laugh at things or make a joke, the more comfy others are. Infact, I feel so confident that you can share a good laugh or gay joke that I am giving you an honorary gay card. Hold it tight. I don't give many of those out.

And Marco
My friend, I know it is easy to jump to conclusions where people and gay issues are concerned. Without sounding like Dr. First, try to think of why you felt so enraged by Piney's remarks. Who are you REALLY angry with. Perhaps Piney became the substitute for all the heteros who have done you wrong? I did the same with Delldude once...ok maybe twice, but he is just a man with an opinion.

Deleted by moderator

But Mr. Moderator,

It was so cute a comment. :huh:

 

[ktflyhome]

First amendment: several posts back I myself wanted to respond but out of weakness and insecurity did not. I am not gay and I am not a man, but I have had some of my best friends pass away. My son's god father for one and he was also best man at my first wedding. Along with others. In my graduating class from flight attendant school I was the ONLY female in a wonderful group of gay men. I still have the photograph hanging on my wall, next to me just now. I cant say much more at this time, as I am tired and I want to go to bed and reflect upon your post. I give you all my KUDOS But I will say this. Some of my most memorable times on line have been with gay co-workers. They brought be joy and laughter and their sense of humor was beyond compare. Thank you for your post. Very enlightening and courageous.