Dog Wonder
Veteran
Rule 25
If you don't get the joke, it is on you.
If you don't get the joke, it is on you.
Rules For The Ramp..Title Edited
- Thread starter JoeDirt
- Start date
N965VJ
Veteran
If you promise to be a nice young man and quit hitting on EMBFA, I'll see to it that you get a personal tour of the Crew Room in PHL.
It's really kewl!
YVINTERN
Veteran
No Thanks...I've already been to the Crew Rooms in DCA/IAD/PHX/ORD/LAS or wherever Mesa has a base out of
(I don't know what would excite a 17 yr old kid...seeing a Crew Room or seeing Debbie's panties on e-bay)
N965VJ
Veteran
Oh, but you’ve never seen the one in PHL.No Thanks...I've already been to the Crew Rooms in DCA/IAD/PHX/ORD/LAS or wherever Mesa has a base out of
(I don't know what would excite a 17 yr old kid...seeing a Crew Room or seeing Debbie's panties on e-bay)
Here are the check-in computers. Note the large moving map display on the wall. That’s how we keep track of the pesky jet stream.
Here’s the crew lounge. Note the buffet. Today’s Friday, so that means Chateaubriand canapés.
YVINTERN
Veteran
Oh, but you’ve never seen the one in PHL.
Here are the check-in computers. Note the large moving map display on the wall. That’s how we keep track of the pesky jet stream.
Here’s the crew lounge. Note the buffet. Today’s Friday, so that means Chateaubriand canapés.
Oh Snap...now thats the one I have not seen
I'll take you up on it if I can get a buddy pass from Chicago?That's a lot of delays out of Philadelphia on the left screen
orioleman
Veteran
- Aug 20, 2007
- 1,669
- 64
not a rule but fun to do,,
when running bags ask an express or new hire where a certain city is but use the city name not the three letter code,,, example
julio "can you tell me where Scranton/Wilkes barre is or Fort Myers.. " it freaks them out , because they don't know citys just codes
when running bags ask an express or new hire where a certain city is but use the city name not the three letter code,,, example
julio "can you tell me where Scranton/Wilkes barre is or Fort Myers.. " it freaks them out , because they don't know citys just codes
OP
JoeDirt
Veteran
- Sep 1, 2007
- 840
- 3
- Thread Starter
- Thread starter
- #55
29. Calling in sick for a shift (especially for a holiday) often requires thought and creativity. The standard excusses usually work just fine. If you must get creative avoid the following mistakes.
1. I have a job interview with Southwest.
2. I am calling in dead because I am out of sick days.
3. I have got Ebola, I think its the 24 hour kind.
4. The voices told me to stay home and clean my guns.
5. I have anal glaucoma. (I can't see my a$$ coming to work.)
6. I am still too drunk from last nights binge.
7. I can't find my car. (See #6)
8. I spilled bong water on my only clean uniform.
9. I was playing poker with some college students and got my a$$ kicked. (literally) I can't come in until the swelling goes down.
10. My car is on empty and I can't afford any gas until payday.
11. My "give a sh*t" is broken.
12. I got caught up in last nights raid and don't have enough money for bail.
13. I was abducted by aliens. (This one also works for a 2 day no show.)
14. I just don't feel like dealing with it.
Some of the above excuses have actually been used. You figure out which ones.
1. I have a job interview with Southwest.
2. I am calling in dead because I am out of sick days.
3. I have got Ebola, I think its the 24 hour kind.
4. The voices told me to stay home and clean my guns.
5. I have anal glaucoma. (I can't see my a$$ coming to work.)
6. I am still too drunk from last nights binge.
7. I can't find my car. (See #6)
8. I spilled bong water on my only clean uniform.
9. I was playing poker with some college students and got my a$$ kicked. (literally) I can't come in until the swelling goes down.
10. My car is on empty and I can't afford any gas until payday.
11. My "give a sh*t" is broken.
12. I got caught up in last nights raid and don't have enough money for bail.
13. I was abducted by aliens. (This one also works for a 2 day no show.)
14. I just don't feel like dealing with it.
Some of the above excuses have actually been used. You figure out which ones.
Kev3188
Veteran
Also, if calling in sick when in reality you are attending a sporting event, time your call so that the National Anthem cannot be heard being sung in the background (actually happened)....
OP
JoeDirt
Veteran
- Sep 1, 2007
- 840
- 3
- Thread Starter
- Thread starter
- #58
30. Tradition requires that all rookies be made ramp savvy. After training classes end they are sent to the ramp with us and this is where their real ramp "education" begins. In order to "educate" them properly the following phrases will help.
"I can't remove the chocks. They are stuck. Will you go to the shift managers office and get me a "chock hammer".
"We are not going to be able to fit all the cargo in the bins. Will you go to maintance and get me a "bin stretcher".
"Its so foggy this morning I don't think the cockpit crew will be able to see me trying to marshall them in. Will you go to Delta and see if we can borrow their "fog fan".
"We need to load up the originator and I forgot to get the keys. Will you go to the chief pilots office and get me the "keys to A/C 724".
If done properly you may not see them for a good long time. Welcome to the ramp. Many have fallen victim to these and other pranks over the years.
"I can't remove the chocks. They are stuck. Will you go to the shift managers office and get me a "chock hammer".
"We are not going to be able to fit all the cargo in the bins. Will you go to maintance and get me a "bin stretcher".
"Its so foggy this morning I don't think the cockpit crew will be able to see me trying to marshall them in. Will you go to Delta and see if we can borrow their "fog fan".
"We need to load up the originator and I forgot to get the keys. Will you go to the chief pilots office and get me the "keys to A/C 724".
If done properly you may not see them for a good long time. Welcome to the ramp. Many have fallen victim to these and other pranks over the years.
Dog Wonder
Veteran
Don't forget "Take this shoe to Baggage Service in case the customer that lost it files a claim'.
OP
JoeDirt
Veteran
- Sep 1, 2007
- 840
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- Thread Starter
- Thread starter
- #60
31. Occasionally an airline employee will host a party. If you recieve an invitation by all means try to attend. You will enjoy yourself and have a good time. These parties are always a lot of fun. The only problem is when you combine airline personal, alcohol, and water (pool, lake, etc.) someone seems to think its a good idea to get naked. The chances are very good it will be someone you don't want to see naked. Consider yourself forewarned.
