More Crew Cancellations This Weekend

[ChockJockey]

spin

US Airways Announces Last-Minute Travel Advantageâ„¢ Bonanza for Holiday Travelers

-By Skip Puppetmouth (PR Biz Newswire)

Tempe-based US Airways this week spontaneously unveiled a revolutionary and groundbreaking package of benefits for holiday travelers and employees alike. The™ US Airways™ Travel™ Advantage™ Bonanza™™ for Holiday Travelers™™™ was announced with much fanfare in a hastily-arranged press-conference held outside the front doors of airlines Tempe headquarters.

"We're delighted to present to and force upon these new Travel Advantagesâ„¢ to our passengers and employees," said CEO Doug Parkerâ„¢, tie-less, disheveled, and reeking of eggnog, "US Airways continues to be the trailblazer in telling people what they want, how they want it, and what they can do if they have a problem with it."

The showcase of the Travel Advantage Bonanzaâ„¢ is the Deluxe Last-Minute Holiday Extendorrâ„¢, a non-optional travel package that includes an unplanned extension of any passenger's holiday stay of anywhere from several hours to four days, an airtight excuse with which to provide employers, family and other obligations (those wacky airlines), and paid lodging and meals for the duration of this time all at ZERO charge to the customer. "No other airline offers their customers nearly as much time to wistfully contemplate airport architecture and spend quality family time playing Find the Last G--d-amn Available Power Outlet in the Terminal."

"Of course, once we'd changed the travel plans of tens our thousands of our customers and saw that we wouldn't be needing all these extra flights we decided that the most environmentally-friendly thing to do in order to decrease our Holiday Carbon Footprintâ„¢ would be to cancel those flights that would have otherwise carried few to no passengers," explains Parker, highlighting the airlines very Green stance. "That's us, green from top to bottom."

Included also in the Bonanza is a package of employee incentives. The 2009 Holidays FreakOutâ„¢ program is designed to provide front-line employees with intense and valuable on-the-job training all the while providing the very top-notch of customer service to those travelers finding themselves deflected or spontaneously homeless in the airport. This "trial by fire" approach to training and operation includes imposing several hours of mandatory overtime on understaffed and under-equipped work groups already exhausted by weeks of Holiday operations and exposing them to stresses and abuses an order of magnitude higher than what they're generally used to.

"Our FreakOutâ„¢ program, which promises to be hugely successful, is basically a two-step process in which we first set our employees up for failure and then intimidate them when they do in fact fail or when they show any form of human compassion while trying fruitlessly to reach those customer service goals we've left them laughably under-resourced for, and we expect this to cultivate an overall improvement in our customer service metrics," explains Scott Kirby, airline President "the incentive part is that they get to keep their jobs. Unless they try to call in sick for having H1N1 or something, then we discipline them and fire them. [hearty laughter]" Employees were unavailable for comment.

Reaction so far from passengers has been mostly favorable, the airline reports. Mark Sandoval, a systems analyst from Rochester, NY was quoted as saying "I've been stuck here [in Philadelphia] for four days subsisting off Starbucks house brew and almonds. My wife had our first child on New Year's...wish I could have been there. Please, please let my family know I'm alive, I think I have rickets. Oh god."

Igor Stönsengruud, the internationally-renowned "choas artist" gave rave reviews to the airline, its holiday operations, and the Last-Minute Travel Advantage™ Bonanza for Holiday Travelers: "Zees coordinated holiday deesaster on an international scale ees a TRIUMPH of stress und CHAOS over zee hubris und so-called good vill of man. Only ven sense und order are thrown out zee vindow can vee vitness zee very CLIMAX of zee nihilistic zeitgeist zat permeates zis airline! Eet ees a masterpiece!"

"We strive to be the Airline of Choiceâ„¢," says Parker, "for those people that never expect to get anywhere, and are willing to pay good money not to."

 

[Travels2mch]

OMG this is awesome.....you win the prize!!!!!!!!!! :mf_boff:

 

[SS255]

Any word on crew cancellations for tomorrow? My parents are flying AVP-PHL-LAX.

 

[a320av8r]

Any word on crew cancellations for tomorrow? My parents are flying AVP-PHL-LAX.

Looks as though tomorrows coverage is good.

 

[IMAKEUSFLY]

COMMENT REMOVED BY MODERATOR-CHECK YOUR PMs

anyway..might as well throw my 2 cents worth in here too...as i stated before..all of these "sick outs" or whatever you call them are selfish and what is sad is it's the low-paying agents (not the $100+ an hour pilots) that are suffering with the humiliating phone calls, screaming, cursing, you-name-it from passengers.

For once I'd love the FA's and Pilots to actually have to answer to our passengers for this type of decision...blame it on management all you want...but bottom line..I'm sure there are enough furloughed people out there who would be more than willing to work again..maybe its time we get rid of the trouble makers and keep the ones that just appreciate having a job!!

 

[IMAKEUSFLY]

Shall we write off the Dec & Jan $50 bonus payout?

AFter paying for the protections to other carriers we've had to do (when we could find other carriers that is)...i'll be surprised if our stock doesn't drop by 1/2 this month...it's all ridiculous! bottom line..i hope everyone (you know who you are)enjoyed ruining our passengers holidays....and bottom line..i hope a year from now everyone still has a job! or an airline!!

i'm talking to whomever is reading this..whether its pilots/fa's/mx/ground/mgmt/anyone that has caused this fiasco!! it's one thing when we have weather..it's another to do what we've done these last 2 weekends!! i'm totally disgusted and fed up with these games!! if the union has incited it..then shame on them too!!

 

[autofixer]

Tell management to honor their contractual obligations; just say'n. It is amazing how things operate when you just do your job and no-one else's.

 

[VAflyGal]

Y
anyway..might as well throw my 2 cents worth in here too...as i stated before..all of these "sick outs" or whatever you call them are selfish and what is sad is it's the low-paying agents (not the $100+ an hour pilots) that are suffering with the humiliating phone calls, screaming, cursing, you-name-it from passengers.

For once I'd love the FA's and Pilots to actually have to answer to our passengers for this type of decision...blame it on management all you want...but bottom line..I'm sure there are enough furloughed people out there who would be more than willing to work again..maybe its time we get rid of the trouble makers and keep the ones that just appreciate having a job!!

Wow. F/A's have to put up with this complaining all the time. I feel sorry for the agents but how about you guys put yourselves in a metal tube with 200 pissy people who are annoyed about everything they gripe to you about - and then get mad because they aren't seated with their families or they have to get their car seats out of the exit rows or we checked their bags or meals aren't free.

Puhleeze - f/a's hear about it ALL THE TIME

 

[hp_fa]

For once I'd love the FA's and Pilots to actually have to answer to our passengers for this type of decision...blame it on management all you want...but bottom line..I'm sure there are enough furloughed people out there who would be more than willing to work again..maybe its time we get rid of the trouble makers and keep the ones that just appreciate having a job!!

The FA's and pilots (nor any other organized workforce on the property) are not to blame for what has been negotiated and ratified in contracts. The company is, and was, fully aware of contractual and regulatory requirements concerning work hours. Management also made the furlough decisions and makes rehiring decisions. So, respectfully, I reject the thrust of your remarks.

 

[Coach Cabin]

US Airways Announces Last-Minute Travel Advantageâ„¢ Bonanza for Holiday Travelers

-By Skip Puppetmouth (PR Biz Newswire)

Tempe-based US Airways this week spontaneously unveiled a revolutionary and groundbreaking package of benefits for holiday travelers and employees alike. The™ US Airways™ Travel™ Advantage™ Bonanza™™ for Holiday Travelers™™™ was announced with much fanfare in a hastily-arranged press-conference held outside the front doors of airlines Tempe headquarters.

"We're delighted to present to and force upon these new Travel Advantagesâ„¢ to our passengers and employees," said CEO Doug Parkerâ„¢, tie-less, disheveled, and reeking of eggnog, "US Airways continues to be the trailblazer in telling people what they want, how they want it, and what they can do if they have a problem with it."

The showcase of the Travel Advantage Bonanzaâ„¢ is the Deluxe Last-Minute Holiday Extendorrâ„¢, a non-optional travel package that includes an unplanned extension of any passenger's holiday stay of anywhere from several hours to four days, an airtight excuse with which to provide employers, family and other obligations (those wacky airlines), and paid lodging and meals for the duration of this time all at ZERO charge to the customer. "No other airline offers their customers nearly as much time to wistfully contemplate airport architecture and spend quality family time playing Find the Last G--d-amn Available Power Outlet in the Terminal."

"Of course, once we'd changed the travel plans of tens our thousands of our customers and saw that we wouldn't be needing all these extra flights we decided that the most environmentally-friendly thing to do in order to decrease our Holiday Carbon Footprintâ„¢ would be to cancel those flights that would have otherwise carried few to no passengers," explains Parker, highlighting the airlines very Green stance. "That's us, green from top to bottom."

Included also in the Bonanza is a package of employee incentives. The 2009 Holidays FreakOutâ„¢ program is designed to provide front-line employees with intense and valuable on-the-job training all the while providing the very top-notch of customer service to those travelers finding themselves deflected or spontaneously homeless in the airport. This "trial by fire" approach to training and operation includes imposing several hours of mandatory overtime on understaffed and under-equipped work groups already exhausted by weeks of Holiday operations and exposing them to stresses and abuses an order of magnitude higher than what they're generally used to.

"Our FreakOutâ„¢ program, which promises to be hugely successful, is basically a two-step process in which we first set our employees up for failure and then intimidate them when they do in fact fail or when they show any form of human compassion while trying fruitlessly to reach those customer service goals we've left them laughably under-resourced for, and we expect this to cultivate an overall improvement in our customer service metrics," explains Scott Kirby, airline President "the incentive part is that they get to keep their jobs. Unless they try to call in sick for having H1N1 or something, then we discipline them and fire them. [hearty laughter]" Employees were unavailable for comment.

Reaction so far from passengers has been mostly favorable, the airline reports. Mark Sandoval, a systems analyst from Rochester, NY was quoted as saying "I've been stuck here [in Philadelphia] for four days subsisting off Starbucks house brew and almonds. My wife had our first child on New Year's...wish I could have been there. Please, please let my family know I'm alive, I think I have rickets. Oh god."

Igor Stönsengruud, the internationally-renowned "choas artist" gave rave reviews to the airline, its holiday operations, and the Last-Minute Travel Advantage™ Bonanza for Holiday Travelers: "Zees coordinated holiday deesaster on an international scale ees a TRIUMPH of stress und CHAOS over zee hubris und so-called good vill of man. Only ven sense und order are thrown out zee vindow can vee vitness zee very CLIMAX of zee nihilistic zeitgeist zat permeates zis airline! Eet ees a masterpiece!"

"We strive to be the Airline of Choiceâ„¢," says Parker, "for those people that never expect to get anywhere, and are willing to pay good money not to."

Priceless! In Honolulu the other night they were soliciting volunteers for our hopelessly oversold flights by advertising "Extend your Hawaiian vacation for 3 more days, folks, courtesy of US Airways! That's right, folks, 3 more days on our beautiful island with hotel and food paid by US Airways.....PLUS a $750 travel voucher off any future US Airways flight! Please see the gate agent for details."

I kid you not, it's unbelievable that there were enough denied boardings that they couldn't get pax out for at least 3 days. There were no HNL cancellations but one in KOA, whose pax they probably tried to route via HNL. Guess somefolks are STILL there enjoying their extended vacations whether they want to or not!

 

[Edward]

The weekend is done & so is this thread.