With the notable exception of those we're laying off.
I just sent this off to a friend of mine who flies for DAL (former NWA). He is not real happy about what is happening at their airline post merger. Although the merger between DAL/NWA went considerably better than the merger that has yet to happen here between U/AWA. The former NWA pilots and flight attendants aren't as ecstatic about the merger with DAL as public perception. So occasionally he needs to vent - and we talk quite often. I remind him that NO merger is without it's downside, but on the upside: he is still employed in his chosen career, his compensation is on par with his peers, his seniority wasn't given away in a windfall, and his work rules, and retirement weren't gutted, just to consummate a merger. He now flies pretty much what he had before on the same equipment before, but now for the world's largest (well respected) AIRLINE.
So when he calls to vent - I listen to the point where my head starts to pound like when I am forced to listen to Sean Hannity or Sarah Palin.
I usually can shut him up in just a few moments, then have him apologize for venting, by doing ONE SIMPLE THING:
Recounting what transpired on my last trip and update him on the STATUS of our merger between US/AWA.
Works every time.
So - I am sharing this with you not because it is irreverent, satirical, relevant or because I am a "HATER". I just found it funny - and it pokes fun of the state of affairs VERY close to home.
I am also one of those people that doesn't have a problem rejecting BS - when I am having it force fed to me. Group think never was for me. I have my own ears and eyes - I don't need to be told what to think. I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would think things are going well at this airline. This seems like a paradox to me - and it should for the rest of you. Well anyone that can think for them self, not ANTI-LABOR, or in a twelve step program for KOOL-AID abuse.
Well my friend thought it was funny as did I.
If you wonder why I am not in ICN with you guys - it's because I just today finished a 7 day trip that started off originally as a 4 day on Saturday. The 3 extra days in XXX because the wunderkind out WEST didn't think to ensure there was enough de-icing fluid on the EAST COAST to get us through a blizzard. The one's that sneak up on us every year on the East Coast......during the WINTER......right after Christmas. Oh that's right - we outsourced those operations.
TWO MAJOR HUBS EAST COAST HUBS?
There is now way that could have happened here at US Air - we always had to deal with NE Winters. People get fired for such dereliction of duty don't they? I guess not here - only promoted to a cubicle in Tempe.
The Weather Channel has been predicting this storm for over a week before the actual ICE AND SNOW ever arrived.
Running out of deicing fluid really? That can't be true. There is no possible way.
DAL definitely had issues in ATL - but thankfully for you guys - it was due to the WX....not stupidity. It was a comedy of errors of epic proportions here....or what we like to call: CACTUS or "we have great metrics and are running an excellent operation....say it three times.
Scheduling still managed to lose and strand crews in the path of a NE monster storm - even with the newest elaborate techno phone tree matrix that absolutely melted down under pressure.
Upward trending matrix my right arm.
In a bar, far, far, away (from the EASY COAST) this probably took place:
"Yo - Douginator - This is GREAT" These girls are gorgeous - they actually believe what we are telling them !!! They are nothing like the Flight Attendants"
"Yo Scotty, damn straight!!! You need more dollars to give to the stripper"?
"No I' am good Douginator, I still have some left the employees pension we looted". "Yo Douginator - Did you just see that blip on the weather channel about the East Coast"?
"No - but that Vivianne Brown is nice - What an @#@$& - hahahaha - How's the weather for golf in PSP tomorrow"? "PERFECT?"
"Good - that's good. I was talking about the part where Jim Cantore was in ATL saying something about a Major Winter Storm was headed to CLT and the Easter Seaboard. They even named the storm a name: "Benedict" Didn't know they did that.".
"Scotty - So what - it 65 degrees here - screw the EAST along with those ungrateful US Air employees! SCREW the EAST COAST - What a bunch of malcontents - whining about everything - "seniority" - "scope" - "compensation" "de-icing fluid" WAAAA WAAAA WAAAA". "We always seemed to get through winter here in PHX". "Should name the storm: "Benedict" Arnold"!!!!
If it wasn't for me they wouldn't even have jobs!!!". "I could care less about the EAST COAST!!! I am in PHX - HELL I AM PHX -Just ask Sheriff Joe (Arpaio)!!!!"
"If I could figure a way to get out of this I would have already, now I actually have to run this POS airline - sit back and watch me milk all the money I can from those EAST routes (you know the one's that are actually profitable) and get rid of all their employees. Then I ll take care of our own when I sell whats left to MESA!!!! Then I am so out of here".
Got my boy BOB working on that already - Can't remember what we are blaming blaming it on this time - too many Diet Dr. Pepper shooters..... - Oh yeah "the economy and FUEL PRICES"".
"Those whiners don't know how lucky they are to have me running the show - They could have had of SMISEK" - "Ugly chick my @#$" "Wall street thinks I am a GOLDEN GOD" !!! "I am the one that ALMOST bought DELTA"!!!....They Love US !!!....and so do these strippers Scotty, so do these strippers!!!".
"Hey girl - how about another lap dance"? "Valedictorian PIMA County Community College - Really"? "How does DIRECTOR of crew resource planning for US Airways sound "? "
"You spell it: D-E-I-C-E-I-N-G F-L-U-I-D - it melts the ice and snow off the airplane wings -You Got It - "
"Your going to be great at this". "You can still work here at the club too". "Why"? "Because we can't pay you industry standard for the position- hell we can't even pay people that are qualified!!!"
Just an excerpt from a hypothetical executive meeting of self described geniuses
God help us all.
Remember what I keep telling you????? It could always be worse.