Rules on the airplane

[GroundedBoricua]

Ohhh boy I got a few


Rule#15: Do NOT blow your nose and then try to hand me the tissue :huh:

Rule#16: Do ask me what was the puddle that you stepped in when you walked in the lav barefoot after I told you to put some shoes on. Lets see what fluids come out of peoples body in there. You put that one together :unsure:

Rule#17on't ask me permission to join the mile high club in the lav with your girl unless you want me to be initiating the membership. :glare:

Rule#17a: Lock the lav while joinging the mile high club

Rule#18: If you made the baby, you change the baby. Don't ask me to change a pamper if I wasn't the one who tapped that a :censored: s

Rule#18a: Remember to put your babys dirty pamper in the lav trash. Keyword bathroom. Do not attempt to give to f/a. Why,hmmmm let see, do you take a s :censored: t or a leak in you kitchen trash can?? I didn't think so.

I'm going to leave a few for some others to say

 

[FlyDeMetrius]

Rule 14A. Also, please do not wave your coat in the air at me while I am in the aisle with a tray full of pre-departure beverages. What do you expect me to do? Take it in my teeth?

One time something like that happened to us on the airplane this lady was snapping her fingers and whistling at the A like a dog to take her coat and the A was in the middle of serve and was collecting the salad bowls, a tray full mind you and she says "take this" the A said sure "no problem" and put the all the salad bowls on her tray, took her coat hung the coat up and took a little mini break. You should have seen the lady's face.

 

[bagchucker]

The tray table is not an easel for your childs artistic deveolpment... and the seat pocket in front of you is not a receptacle for dirty diapers (finding more than ever before... must be the appeal we have for the old greyhound travelers now able to afford LCC...lol ).

 

[OTslave]

Just because God gave your darling 3 year old feet; doesn't mean they have to use them to kick the seat in front of them or run around the cabin annoying other people. Control them.

 

[Dog Wonder]

Just because your seat reclines it does not mean the person behind you wants you in their lap.

If the overhead vent is blowing wide open on your rug and it gets knocked sideways by a newspaper, please sit up straight.

If you don't, at the end of the flight you haven't gotten any sleep, you will be bald, and your combover will be an obvious fake.

 

[orioleman]

If you had some bad mexican food in the airport prior to boarding and feel the need to use the lav.

try and remember a courtsey flush for your fellow passengers and god love um the F/A's that have to work in the galley

adjacent from that green smog coming from under the lav door.

 

[Zarah]

During the service, it is NOT okay to walk up behind me and just stand there breathing down my neck, waiting silently for me to acknowledge you. It is creepy.

Please maintain an arms length distance in the aisle between me and you and say something so that I know you are there!

 

[YVINTERN]

During the service, it is NOT okay to walk up behind me and just stand there breathing down my neck, waiting silently for me to acknowledge you. It is creepy.

Please maintain an arms length distance in the aisle between me and you and say something so that I know you are there!

In the Galley or the aisle during service? If it was in the Galley then that's just plain heeby jeeby creepy. If it was in the aisle...just do the "oopsie" elbow to nose move

 

[jimntx]

During the service, it is NOT okay to walk up behind me and just stand there breathing down my neck, waiting silently for me to acknowledge you. It is creepy.

Please maintain an arms length distance in the aisle between me and you and say something so that I know you are there!

You're right. If I turn and they are standing in my space, I just firmly tell them to step back at once.

 

[sharonstoneseat]

During boarding do not get in my face (literally) to tell me that you are sick and need a seat in the front. Ain't gonna happen.

Do not get in my face and tell me you are claustrophobic and need a seat in the front. Ain't gonna happen

Do not make a huge heroic display in front of the other passengers by asking me if the plane is going to fly after a MX delay...unless you wish to test my self control over my macabre airline sense of humor.

 

[NCFL]

Learn how to read your seatmate. If the person is reading a book or trying to sleep, don't attempt to engage them in conversation. I once had a person sit down next to me and say "Oh, good. A seatmate. I'm a talker." I responded, "Good for you. I'm a reader," and stuck my nose in my John Grisham.

Leave your damn shoes on. I don't want to smell your rank feet or look at your toe jam when you cross your legs.

Ladies (or some men), don't paint your nails, apply perfume or use noisome lotion onboard the aircraft. I can't smoke because too many of you complained about it, so I shouldn't have to endure your fumes. Tit for tat. If I can wait until TPA to have a cig, you can wait to get rid of your ashy skin.

Be nice to the crew. How would you like it if I came into your cubicle and behaved like a demanding, loud, drunken, arrogant horse's ass?

Clean up after yourself. Pick up your dreck out of respect for your fellow human beings. Don't leave your half-eaten Butterfinger in the seat-back pocket for the next person to find.

 

[Hadenough]

Even if you have two ladies up front flying the aircraft it is still called a "cockpit" and should not be refered to as the "box office".

 

[usabusdriver]

The space under the seat in front of me is for my use and legroom and not for one of your carryon bags if there is no overhead bin space.

My seat back is not a handle for you to lever your fat ass in and out of your seat.

All of that crap you take out of your bag and try to stuff in the seat pocket pokes me in the back.

The floor is not where your sunflower seed shells belong.

 

[Hadenough]

Flight attendants are there to save your a$$ in the event of an emergency and not to kiss it when things are normal.

 

[YVINTERN]

Even if you have two ladies up front flying the aircraft it is still called a "cockpit" and should not be refered to as the "box office".

Hilarious...Hilarious...I wonder if I would get IDB or kicked off if I brought it up when there were 2 female pilots up front.