Welcome aboard Ladies and Gentlemen:
Thank you for funding Carty and the Greedy 40's Outrageous Retirement
Fund with your overpriced tickets.
Your underpaid workers are here to serve you. Sorry your ground agent
was so surly. We will try to do better.
Your pissed off pilot, with 3 years seniority, will try to find the
bumpiest, and longest route to your destination. You paid enough.
They would like to see you get your thrills and your money's worth.
Not to mention, the crew needs more flight time to increase their
puny salaries and junior pilot is still practicing his skills.
Serving you in the cabin will be 3 pissed off Cinderellas, looking
for a prince, husband or sugar daddy, or anyone to take them away
from the pitiful contract concession they are now working under.
If you would like to purchase a $5 drink, the funds will be sent
directly to the Dominican Republic. Must be one of those off-shore
banking deals that most of us are not privy to.
Please fasten your seat belts, it may be a bumpy ride. Place your
tray table in the original upright position. If you need some duct
tape, let us know. Place seat backs in the original upright position.
Our apologies if yours wont stay up. The pissed off mechanics are
little behind since the recent layoffs.
And pleeezzzzzeee, take your happy bistros, happy meals, happy snacks
and happy garbage off with you. We don't know what happened to the
guy who used to take off the trash. Guess he left with the guy who
used to spray for roaches.
Our experienced pilots and flight attendants have been furloughed.
But, junior pilot has his junior pilot wings on and the Cinderellas'
are looking for a ball.
No one brought any suspicious shoes on board did they? The
Cinderellas can't be bothered with anyone other than Princes, future
husbands or sugar daddies.
All this watching for terrorists and cleaning up is getting old, with
their long hours, cheap hotels, low wages and all.
Sit back, relax, and enjoy your wild ride. You certainly paid for it.
Another pissed off agent will meet you at your destination. Our
pissed off luggage handlers will take GOOD care of your luggage.
And don't forget, Carty and the 40+ thank you for your generous
funding of their retirement, the extra taxes you'll be paying for the
thousands of unemployed workers, and your generous PCGB funding of
the other employee pensions in our upcoming bankruptcy.
Thank you for funding Carty and the Greedy 40's Outrageous Retirement
Fund with your overpriced tickets.
Your underpaid workers are here to serve you. Sorry your ground agent
was so surly. We will try to do better.
Your pissed off pilot, with 3 years seniority, will try to find the
bumpiest, and longest route to your destination. You paid enough.
They would like to see you get your thrills and your money's worth.
Not to mention, the crew needs more flight time to increase their
puny salaries and junior pilot is still practicing his skills.
Serving you in the cabin will be 3 pissed off Cinderellas, looking
for a prince, husband or sugar daddy, or anyone to take them away
from the pitiful contract concession they are now working under.
If you would like to purchase a $5 drink, the funds will be sent
directly to the Dominican Republic. Must be one of those off-shore
banking deals that most of us are not privy to.
Please fasten your seat belts, it may be a bumpy ride. Place your
tray table in the original upright position. If you need some duct
tape, let us know. Place seat backs in the original upright position.
Our apologies if yours wont stay up. The pissed off mechanics are
little behind since the recent layoffs.
And pleeezzzzzeee, take your happy bistros, happy meals, happy snacks
and happy garbage off with you. We don't know what happened to the
guy who used to take off the trash. Guess he left with the guy who
used to spray for roaches.
Our experienced pilots and flight attendants have been furloughed.
But, junior pilot has his junior pilot wings on and the Cinderellas'
are looking for a ball.
No one brought any suspicious shoes on board did they? The
Cinderellas can't be bothered with anyone other than Princes, future
husbands or sugar daddies.
All this watching for terrorists and cleaning up is getting old, with
their long hours, cheap hotels, low wages and all.
Sit back, relax, and enjoy your wild ride. You certainly paid for it.
Another pissed off agent will meet you at your destination. Our
pissed off luggage handlers will take GOOD care of your luggage.
And don't forget, Carty and the 40+ thank you for your generous
funding of their retirement, the extra taxes you'll be paying for the
thousands of unemployed workers, and your generous PCGB funding of
the other employee pensions in our upcoming bankruptcy.
