Happy Holidays

Unfriggin believable....you try to wish everyone a happy holiday and it goes in the crapper by #4.....Now you wonder why everyone in the industry wants nothing to do with US....
at least there was no East vs West stuff yet!



And I'll post this before anyone else (it was bound to happen anyway)


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Physics of Santa Claws

This is an example of physics majors with way too much time on their hands...
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle most Muslim, Hindu, and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison, this is four times the weight of the cruise ship Queen Elizabeth II.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to acceleration forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

Please do not tell your kids about this as they will inevitably shoot holes in these calculations and make a fool out of you.

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Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah too all.
 
You're missing the point. (Not surprising as I understand you may see the concept as incomprehensible.)

I made the comment when someone wished a nice holiday by spending time with family and friends. And that's true.

But on this message board, it didn't go far enough in acknowledging the efforts of those who work and, like me and my crew, will be 3000+ miles from home for the entire Christmas Day. Do we, who are spending this time with crew in a mostly closed down hotel, not deserve to have a nice holiday too? Can the holiday only be nice if you are with family and friends?

If you are working Christmas your crew is your family and friends and based on your previous posts I am sure you will make it a good time and the best you can for your crew.

NICDOA
NPJB
 
Happy Holidays and Merry Chrisnikwanzika to all....and let's all for a moment try to see beyond all the nonsense and malice here and just wish each other the very best.

May the Good Lord bless you all and keep you safe........

Best wishes,

Art and family
 
"Santa's Quick Turn"

Twas the night before Christmas, and out on the ramp,
Not an airplane was stirring, not even a Champ.
The aircraft were fastened to tie downs with care,
In hopes that come morning, they all would be there.

The fire trucks were nestled, all snug in their spots,
With gusts from two-forty at 39 knots.
I slumped at the watch desk, now finally caught up,
And settled down comfortably, resting my butt.

When the radio lit up with noise and with chatter,
I turned up the scanner to see what was the matter.
A voice clearly heard over static and snow,
Called for clearance to land at the airport below.

He barked his transmission so lively and quick,
I'd have sworn that the call sign he used was "St. Nick".
I ran to the panel to turn up the lights,
The better to welcome this magical flight.

He called his position, no room for denial,
"St. Nicholas One, turnin' left onto final."
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Rutan-built sleigh, with eight Rotax Reindeer!

With vectors to final, down the glide slope he came,
As he passed all fixes, he called them by name:
"Now Ringo! Now Tolga! Now Trini and Bacun!
On Comet! On Cupid!" What pills was he takin'?

The controllers were sittin', and scratchin' their head,
They phoned my office, and I heard it with dread,
The message they left was both urgent and dour:
"When Santa pulls in, please have him call the tower."

He landed like silk, with the sled runners sparking,
Then I heard "Left at Charlie," and "Taxi to parking."
He slowed to a taxi, turned off of three-oh
And stopped on the ramp with a "Ho, ho, ho."

He stepped out of the sleigh, but before he could talk,
I responded with Crash One, the fire truck that can rock.
His red helmet and goggles were covered with frost
And his beard was all brown from Reindeer exhaust.

His breath smelled like peppermint, gone slightly stale,
And he puffed on his pipe, but he didn't inhale.
His cheeks were all rosy and jiggled like jelly;
His boots were as black as a crop duster's belly.

He was chubby and plump, in his suit of bright red,
And he asked where to fill it, with hundred low lead.
He came dashing in from the snow-covered pump;
I knew he was anxious for drainin' the sump.

I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
Fire-guarding the sleigh, like an eager young Turk.
He came out of the restroom, and sighed in relief,
Then he picked up a phone for a Flight Service brief.

And I thought as he silently scribed in his log,
These reindeer could land in an eighth-mile fog.
He completed his pre-flight, from the front to the rear,
Then he put on his headset and I heard him yell, "Clear!"

And laying a finger on his push-to-talk,
He called up the tower for clearance and squawk.
"Use runway 30 for a northbound direction,
Depart heading three-six-zero at pilot's discretion"

He sped down the runway, the best of the best,
"Your traffic's a Cessna, inbound from the west."
Then I heard him proclaim, as he climbed thru the night,
"Merry Christmas to all, I have traffic in sight" -Unknown
 
I've had a rather rough go of things these last few years. Really rough to be frank. Yet I'm quite thankful for the things I do have. I'm blessed in so many ways, No I won't be spending the Holidays with my family as I am 1200 miles away and to broke to go home. I can however still afford a phone so we will talk and make the best of a bad situation. I lost my best friend and lover this year, day before my birthday in fact. I keep her memories close at heart. The joy she brought even in her weakened condition makes me smile to this very day.


My sincere condolences on the loss of your love.

I'm sure many on here would offer you a guest pass to try to go home, but of course most flights are full this time of the year and it would probably just be an exercise in futility.

Good luck in the coming year, hope it picks up for ya.

D
 
Happy Holidays and Merry Chrisnikwanzika to all....and let's all for a moment try to see beyond all the nonsense and malice here and just wish each other the very best.

May the Good Lord bless you all and keep you safe........

Best wishes,

Art and family


Happy Festivus Art, you ole' cockroach. Spreading all this cheer around here.

D
 
The magic hour draws nearer so Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night. May Santa bring exactly what you want.

Jim
 

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