I like your 'prescription' doc, but it's rather doubtful the good folks in medical would see the sensibility of said concoction after one pees in a jar.
Our old substitution for your mix consisted of a bottle of Cripple (Ripple) along with herbs grown in various locations.
As far as Obama's concerned:
While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 70-year-old Texas rancher (whose hand had caught in a gate while working cattle), a doctor and the old man were talking about Barack Obama being in the White House.
The old Texan said, "Well, ya know, Obama is a 'post turtle'."
Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.
The old man said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle."
The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain, "You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you wonder just what kind of damned fool put him up there in the first place."
As someone who is a Texas, you should probably know that joke is regularly told about George Bush and John Coryn down here. Obama actually has a brain. Anyways... back on point.
There is absolutely no reason for a crew to tolerate any abuses from any passengers for any reason. It's about time the flight crews started standing up for themselves and start kicking abusive passengers off of the plane.