You May Be A Redneck Pilot If ......

[Colby]

YOU MAY BE A REDNECK PILOT IF .....


* Your stall warning plays Dixie

* Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as
check points

* You think sectonal charts should show trailer parks

* You have mud flaps on your wheel pants

* Your toothpick keeps poking your mike

* You've thought about just taxiing around the
Airport drinking beer

* You wouldn't be caught dead in a Grumman "Yankee"

* You use a Purina Feed sack for a wind sock

* The side of your airplane has a sign advertising
your septic tank service

* You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut

* You think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight

* You refer to flying in formation as "We've got us a CONVOY"

* Your matched set of luggage is 3 sacks from the
Piggly Wiggly

* You havea black airplane with a big #3 on the side

* You fuel your airplane from a Mason Jar

* You've go a gun rack hanging on the passenger window

* You have more than one roll of duct tape holding
your cowling together

* Your preflight includes removing all the clover grass and wheat from
the landing gear

* You figure the weight of mud and manure on your airplane
into the CG calculations.

* You siphon gas out of your tractor to put in your airplane

* You've never really actually landed at an airport,
although you've been flying for years.

* There are parts on your airplane labeled "John Deere"

* You answer all calls from female controllers with
"That's a big ten-four little Darlin."

* You fly to family reunions to meet girls

* You think ZULU time means something to do with Africa

* Your Airplane has a sticker that says "I'd rather be fishing"

* You think "ULTRALITE" is a new beer from Budweiser

* Just before impact you are heard saying "Hey, Y'all, watch this!"


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