"What Would Doug Parker Do" video game

[Graceson]

WHEREAS The BPR has thoroughly reviewed the MOU, but unanimously believes that the MOU as written fails to provide the significant protections and safeguards required by the pilot group.
THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED That the Board of Pilot Representatives recommends that the pilot group disapprove this MOU.



***Welcome to the “What would Doug Parker do Video Game.”***

“In order to know your enemy, you must become your enemy.” ― Chris Bradford

Level One: Score 1,000 points by climbing into Doug Parker’s head and accurately defining an LCC pilot. You must beeee the Parker. If you succeed, then advance to the next level.

Flame a colleague and you’ll trip the “I’m George Carlin” land mine – Game over.

Level Two: Score up to 10,000 points for exposing as many cracks as you can in your opponents (pilot’s) bastions. Claim additional energy credits by unveiling strategies to deflate pilot expectations or lower resolve so as to more effectively manipulate desired results. Beeee the Parker and advance to the next level. Trigger an “I’m George Carlin” land mine – Game over.

Level Three: Congratulations! You’re the Parker. Now for the ultimate round and a chance at the grand prize – a motley cap with bells. Here, you must defeat your own management team by first building and then sitting upon a three-legged throne. From this throne you must enlighten the minions. A clarity of action for the MOU based upon knowledge rather than fear or ignorance of the unknown.

Leg one -- Independent Research.
Leg two -- Independent Analysis.
Leg three -- Independent Valuation.

Any leg collapses – Game over, return to level one.

Any Research, Analysis, or Valuation gleaned from corporate framed attestations – Game over, return to level one.

Any Legal guidance absent professional collaboration, documented legal interpretation, or legal precedent triggering COC – Game over, return to level one.

Any Legal advice strictly defined by the narrow scope of options framed by the corporation – Game over, return to level one.

Any executive COC protective provision NOT triggered by one executive team or the other – game over, return to level one.

Any single line-item concession not independently valued – Game over, return to level one.

If economic returns to pilots, based on independent analysis and valuations as a result of concessions, are not directly tied to surviving Executive incentives/compensation/reward/ bonus or positive quarterly performance targets (controlled risk for the corporation) – Then the corporation is overreaching, Game over return to level one.

Trigger an “I’m George Carlin” land mine – Game over, return to level one.

 

[Graceson]

Level 1:

I know, I know. Most of you find me a bit ruthless. But hey, it’s my job. It’s only a job. It’s not personal, really. In a few words? It’s the nature of the beast.

That’s it. I have my beasts, you have yours. And for you I am that beast. Beasts came before me, beasts will come after me. Sometimes you slay them, sometimes they slay you. Question is, are you smart enough and disciplined enough to persevere? …or at least end the battle in a draw.

Seriously, my nature is no more aberrant than that of a shark. It is what it is – a predator. Personally, I would prefer to be thought of as an orca. Yeah…, I’m genial enough aren’t I? Fun loving? I don’t always feed on my prey. Sometimes, I just enjoy toying with them a little. An orca, yes, it fits…

Think about it. If not me then who? The sharks are always circling, looking for blood in the water. Better the enemy you know, right? Why do you think any other preditor wouldn’t readily devour the weak and vulnerable just as I do? So, are we straight?

Understand this. My job is to do my due diligence. It’s not an option, it’s a must. I must exploit every advantage that presents itself to me. On the other hand, your job is to do your due diligence and prevent me. Of course, you do understand that natural selection has a way of weeding out those who fail to change and adapt.

It would be funny if it weren’t tragic. So predictable -- your paradigmatic mind set. You’re wired to follow the same predictable paths to failure, always expecting different results. Everyone’s got to have hope, I guess. At least you got that. But hope is based on chance. Look at that missive in the post above. “…WHEREAS The BPR has thoroughly reviewed the MOU, but unanimously believes that the MOU as written fails to provide the significant protections and safeguards required by the pilot group…”

Believe… You’re BPR believes, considers, thinks, trust. Why don’t the say, your BPR hopes, or your BPR guesses. Why not say, the BPR has determined. Believes… Not even your BPR is sure if the MOU is harmful or helpful. So how can you make an informed decision? Faith, maybe? It’s based on ignorance.

Listen, it comes down to this. If you’re not willing to work hard, shed the emotion, subscribe to the discipline, and play smart and informed, then I can’t help you.

So, okay. I’m Doug Parker, management traitor and now your team leader. You want my impression of you? Let me apologize up front. Sorry, but I’ll have to be objective in that assessment. It’s not personal. You see, I can’t afford the emotion, my job’s tough enough. At least it was before I defected to your side.

But as chief executive I had to have that degree of detachment. Like a doctor, you might say. I had to remain focused on the more clinical aspects of the operation. I can’t let sentiment interfere with judgment, though I continuously measure the sentiment of my prey. Be honest. Whether you say it out loud or to yourself, you know somewhere deep down in the layers of your consciousness. You as individual members of your organization are making mistakes every day. You give me an easy advantage there. You bare your emotions to the world. It is not a strength of yours.

For your part, you’ve yet to find your strengths, too clouded by the emotion to break through the haze. Have you heard yourselves in the crew news. Have you read your posts here. My people do monitor this stuff. Lots of laughs over lots of cold ones. What would Doug Parker do? Do you have to ask? Really, my philosophy is if my kids shouldn’t read it, then I shouldn’t write it. Anyway, let’s get back on track... What do I think of you?

Ah, yes. As an executive, you see, it doesn’t matter your experience, skill, knowledge, or the goodwill you bring to the company as a pilot. What you are to me is a unit of cost. A cube.

You and your fellow cubes have no face, no name, no pain nor passion. You nondescript units of cost have no home, no families. I’ll say it again, I can’t afford the sentiment of such things, just as you can’t afford the sentiment of believing I’d humanly put your interests before sound business principles…opportunistic strategies of strength and advantage.

I’ll take as much as you’ll give me, and then a little more just for insurance…just in case I screw up a little. You know…underestimate. I don’t subscribe to the idea of a second trip through bankruptcy. For me, it’s an admission of failure. So I’ll get as much as I can in the first round. Call it insurance. Sometimes you need it, sometimes you don’t.

Like I said, your BPR shouldn’t believe, hope, have faith, or trust anyone or anything. You have to be convinced you’ve done your due diligence…research, analyze, and value every decision. It’s your job, not mine. But if you do, as an executive, I’ll have a chess move for that – deadlines and ultimatums. Throw those out there and you guys curiously slide back into making decisions based on emotion and fear, rather than knowledge. For us, it’s just a matter of timing.

Anyway, my advice is to strip the emotion and sentimentality from your means and methods and start managing your careers with a degree of sober determination, critical thinking, discipline, and perseverance. Stop being units of cost. Stop being cubes. Get a name, a face. And the only way to do that is…to pull in the same direction. Individually, your nobody.

Think about it. A doctor might be a brilliant surgeon – the next guy might kill a patient. A lawyer might be a brilliant litigator – the next guy losses nearly all his cases. But a pilot, every pilot brilliantly succeeds every time he lifts all those lives above the earth and sets them back down. Every single one of you do it every time you fly. To passengers, regulators, or executives, there is nothing, nothing that distinguishes any one of you from the other. Simply, you are nothing more the units of cost – a cube. The only, only leverage you have is unity... I hate unity. And I hate disciplined and knowledgeable pilots.

But, jeez, it really is a good thing you guys became pilots. You’d never be drafted on anyone’s fantasy team as an Exec. You’re disorganized. You cubes speak individually instead of with one voice. You react, rather than anticipate. My imposed deadlines are so easy with you; you take so long to agree on anything before finally taking action. Despite all the self-important, self-gratifying deliberations, you cubes still manage only by reflex, rarely using the wealth of resources to research and educate yourselves before whereasing and thereforeing. Sheesh, the calculating professionals you think you are.

This is how I perceive you… All you cubes provide the same function. There’s no distinction between left seat - right seat, one year – forty years. Cubes will come, cubes will go. There’s always more to take your place.

Like I said, I never liked cubes that unite, exhibit common behavior, or gain momentum of one kind or another. If cubes display colors, ties, badge-backers, lanyards, or begin to gather quietly, I become nervous. And when these cubes move in unison, I take action. I’ll pen a new decree, then pick off the strays as an example to the rest. You’ve yet to figure out the obvious. You can’t inconvenience a passenger -- a judge’s cousin -- with some manufactured safety campaign that appears one day, then disappears the next, after his ruling.

You can’t sway public opinion with frenzied emotions and garbage words in the boarding areas and on forums. Imagine your heart surgeon and his staff of specialists blowing off steam in a crowded waiting room about screwing hospital management. My reach is not infinite, but you make it easy.

But, truthfully. My greatest fear is Unity. I’m a defector now, but if I hadn’t, I would have continued to exploit that which breeds division. I would use any opportunity, legal or otherwise, to exacerbate the conflict when resolutions seem inevitably at hand. I look East and then West, hear your distress, shake my head, drop my gaze, spread my arms, empathetic as I plead my inability to effect change.

But…when it benefits me, did you see how quickly I effected change when I negotiated resolutions with APA. Did you see how those talks resolved all the evils. Am I afraid of lawsuits now. Hell, no. Never was. What I did in a couple of weeks with them, I successfully deferred for years with you. And I did it with a smile. Did I mention that orcas have that affable little smile? I love killer whales. Awesome performers.

Orcas…playing with their prey. I love them almost as much as I loved playing with you cubes. I’d toss you into a room with slanted floors and uneven ceilings and watch you fight to restack yourselves as I taunt you with fire and smoke. Still, you fight to restack yourselves, while I, with the help of some of your own, defer to you for burning your own house down. Have you noticed how arbitrators, political, legal, and public opinions are so easily swayed. You so validate my arguments for me. So predictable.

 

[strangiatotheme]

tl;dr

 

[signals]

Doug would align his pockets with $$$$$$$$$$$!

The rest is irrelevant as you are all pawns!
nuf sed

 

[firedougparker]

Doug would align his pockets with $$$$$$$$$$$!

The rest is irrelevant as you are all pawns!
nuf sed

My thoughts exactly. Follow the money. And Parker's ego.