longing4piedmont
Veteran
- May 19, 2003
- 1,291
- 6
Posted with permission from another web site.......
Dovster
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Yiron, Israel
Programs: DL FO, AirTran Elite, Sixt Platinum, El Al Matmid
Posts: 18,968
Meeting with Frankly on the DL-US Merger
A number of you know about my connection with Josh Wilde --I used it to get this report from him about his meeting with a top US Airways official.
Copyright 2007, Josh Wilde
I had a short stay in Atlanta last week and was surprised to see my old buddy, Frankly Foolish, in my hotel lounge trying to convince the bartender to give him a Coke mixed with Arizona rum.
"What are you doing here?" I asked him. "I thought you lived in Phoenix."
"I do," said Frankly. "I work for Doug Parker and am in charge of mergers and acquisitions. He sent me out here to scout out the possibility of merging the Arizona Cardinals with the Atlanta Braves."
"But the Braves are a baseball team and the Cardinals play football," I pointed out.
"That's what makes it so perfect," Frankly said. "They have completely different seasons so the players are always available for either team. We can lay off half of them and save a fortune in salaries."
"I'm not so certain that will work out," I said.
"Of course it will. Look, people were doubtful when we first announced that we wanted to buy out Delta and merge it with US Airways, but our planning for that is going perfectly. We're going to mix the best of Delta with the best of US."
"What parts of Delta do you like?" I wondered.
"For a start," he said, "I love the idea of having a call center in India. The customer service reps there not only work for peanuts but they can't understand anything you are saying so people give up calling. That would save Delta a bundle on manpower if it only took full advantage of it and closed all the other centers."
"So you are going to fire all the other other customer service reps, including those at the Atlanta headquarters?"
"Especially those in Atlanta," Frankly replied. "It's the only fair thing to do. It would be very lonely for them in the headquarters building after we get rid of everyone else there."
"But I thought that Parker said he would save the jobs of all Delta employees," I protested.
"He will," Frankly replied, "but the best way to save something is not to use it up. The people will be fired but the jobs will be carefully packed up and saved. After all, maybe someday we might want to use one or two of them."
"This doesn't sound to me like the new Delta will be able to give passengers very good service," I told him.
"Of course it won't," Frankly said. "We never promised good service -- only US Airways service. Look, it is simply good business."
"That 'simply good business' sounds very familiar," I told him.
"It's not original," he confessed. "I heard it from guy named Leo. Now, there's a man who really understands finances. He managed to get himself a multi-million dollar retirement plan for driving a business into bankruptcy."
"What will traveling on the new Delta be like?" I wondered. "Just like going on US Airways is now?"
"Of course not," said Frankly. "Once we own our biggest competitor, we'll cut back on US Airways service as well. We'll make traveling equally miserable for all of our passengers."
"Somehow this seems to be in violation of the anti-trust laws," I said.
"What do you mean by anti-trust?" Frankly asked in surprise. "We're very much pro-trust. In fact, we're relying on trust. We're hoping that Delta's creditors will be gullible enough to trust us to get their money back for them."
"What will you do if this merger doesn't go through?" I asked.
"Doug has a back up plan," he said. "We're going to buy all of Georgia's peach trees and graft each one onto an Arizona cactus."
"But you're going to wind up with a hybrid that won't do well in either Georgia or Arizona," I said in confusion.
"Exactly," Frankly replied. "It's the perfect substitute for a US-Delta merger."
Dovster
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Yiron, Israel
Programs: DL FO, AirTran Elite, Sixt Platinum, El Al Matmid
Posts: 18,968
Meeting with Frankly on the DL-US Merger
A number of you know about my connection with Josh Wilde --I used it to get this report from him about his meeting with a top US Airways official.
Copyright 2007, Josh Wilde
I had a short stay in Atlanta last week and was surprised to see my old buddy, Frankly Foolish, in my hotel lounge trying to convince the bartender to give him a Coke mixed with Arizona rum.
"What are you doing here?" I asked him. "I thought you lived in Phoenix."
"I do," said Frankly. "I work for Doug Parker and am in charge of mergers and acquisitions. He sent me out here to scout out the possibility of merging the Arizona Cardinals with the Atlanta Braves."
"But the Braves are a baseball team and the Cardinals play football," I pointed out.
"That's what makes it so perfect," Frankly said. "They have completely different seasons so the players are always available for either team. We can lay off half of them and save a fortune in salaries."
"I'm not so certain that will work out," I said.
"Of course it will. Look, people were doubtful when we first announced that we wanted to buy out Delta and merge it with US Airways, but our planning for that is going perfectly. We're going to mix the best of Delta with the best of US."
"What parts of Delta do you like?" I wondered.
"For a start," he said, "I love the idea of having a call center in India. The customer service reps there not only work for peanuts but they can't understand anything you are saying so people give up calling. That would save Delta a bundle on manpower if it only took full advantage of it and closed all the other centers."
"So you are going to fire all the other other customer service reps, including those at the Atlanta headquarters?"
"Especially those in Atlanta," Frankly replied. "It's the only fair thing to do. It would be very lonely for them in the headquarters building after we get rid of everyone else there."
"But I thought that Parker said he would save the jobs of all Delta employees," I protested.
"He will," Frankly replied, "but the best way to save something is not to use it up. The people will be fired but the jobs will be carefully packed up and saved. After all, maybe someday we might want to use one or two of them."
"This doesn't sound to me like the new Delta will be able to give passengers very good service," I told him.
"Of course it won't," Frankly said. "We never promised good service -- only US Airways service. Look, it is simply good business."
"That 'simply good business' sounds very familiar," I told him.
"It's not original," he confessed. "I heard it from guy named Leo. Now, there's a man who really understands finances. He managed to get himself a multi-million dollar retirement plan for driving a business into bankruptcy."
"What will traveling on the new Delta be like?" I wondered. "Just like going on US Airways is now?"
"Of course not," said Frankly. "Once we own our biggest competitor, we'll cut back on US Airways service as well. We'll make traveling equally miserable for all of our passengers."
"Somehow this seems to be in violation of the anti-trust laws," I said.
"What do you mean by anti-trust?" Frankly asked in surprise. "We're very much pro-trust. In fact, we're relying on trust. We're hoping that Delta's creditors will be gullible enough to trust us to get their money back for them."
"What will you do if this merger doesn't go through?" I asked.
"Doug has a back up plan," he said. "We're going to buy all of Georgia's peach trees and graft each one onto an Arizona cactus."
"But you're going to wind up with a hybrid that won't do well in either Georgia or Arizona," I said in confusion.
"Exactly," Frankly replied. "It's the perfect substitute for a US-Delta merger."
