Colby
Senior
- Sep 30, 2003
- 487
- 0
Here's a Home study Simulator Course for those who still hunger for the Romance and Adventure of Airling Flying. It will all come back to you if you practice the following at home:
1. Stay out of Bed All Night
2. Sit in your most uncomfortable chair, in a closet for nine-ten hours facing a four foot wide Panoramic photo of a Flight Deck.
3. Have 2 or 3 noisy Vacuum Cleaners on High, out of sight but with in hearing distance and operating throughout the night. If a Vacuum Cleaner fails, do the appropriate restart checklist.
4. Halfway through your nocturnal Simulator course, Arrange a Bright Spotlight to shine directly into your face for 2-3 hours simulating Eastbound Flight into Sunrise.
5. Have a Bland overcooked meal served on a try midway through the night.
6. Have a couple of Cold Cups of Coffee delievered from time to time
ask your spouse to slam the door FREQUENTLY
7. At the time when you must heed natures call force yourself to stand outside the bathroom for at least 10 minutes, transferring your weight from leg to leg, Easing the discomfort. Don't forget to wear YOUR HAT !!
8. Leave the closet after the required 9-10 hours. Turn on your sprinklers and stand out in the cold and "Rain" for 20 minutes. Simulating the wait for the CREW VAN !!!
9. Head for your Bedroom, Wet and with your Roll-a-board and Flight Bag. Stand outside the door till your wife gets up and leaves. Simulating the wait you'd have while the maid makes up your Hotel Room.
10. When Your Spouse inquires "Just what the Hell have you been doing" just say "Recalling the Allure of all the night flying to romantic Places" and Collapse in Bed.
11. If you are a Purist....DO THIS 2 NIGHTS IN A ROW !!!!
1. Stay out of Bed All Night
2. Sit in your most uncomfortable chair, in a closet for nine-ten hours facing a four foot wide Panoramic photo of a Flight Deck.
3. Have 2 or 3 noisy Vacuum Cleaners on High, out of sight but with in hearing distance and operating throughout the night. If a Vacuum Cleaner fails, do the appropriate restart checklist.
4. Halfway through your nocturnal Simulator course, Arrange a Bright Spotlight to shine directly into your face for 2-3 hours simulating Eastbound Flight into Sunrise.
5. Have a Bland overcooked meal served on a try midway through the night.
6. Have a couple of Cold Cups of Coffee delievered from time to time
ask your spouse to slam the door FREQUENTLY
7. At the time when you must heed natures call force yourself to stand outside the bathroom for at least 10 minutes, transferring your weight from leg to leg, Easing the discomfort. Don't forget to wear YOUR HAT !!
8. Leave the closet after the required 9-10 hours. Turn on your sprinklers and stand out in the cold and "Rain" for 20 minutes. Simulating the wait for the CREW VAN !!!
9. Head for your Bedroom, Wet and with your Roll-a-board and Flight Bag. Stand outside the door till your wife gets up and leaves. Simulating the wait you'd have while the maid makes up your Hotel Room.
10. When Your Spouse inquires "Just what the Hell have you been doing" just say "Recalling the Allure of all the night flying to romantic Places" and Collapse in Bed.
11. If you are a Purist....DO THIS 2 NIGHTS IN A ROW !!!!
